A Quiet Life Read online

  When she seemed to be recovering, he asked, “Are you going to tell me what’s so funny?”

  “It’s not funny,” she said, in defiance of her continued effort to catch her breath. “It was just the two of us without Caroline and Pa said...” Lucy paused to squelch a few more giggles. “Pa said I might find someone in town I’d want to run off and marry and… um… today was the first day I was in town at all in nearly three years.”

  She looked completely serious at the end of the sentence and Justus understood how that was both funny and not funny. “Your pa was right to worry,” he said. “You’re just about the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

  Lucy blushed and looked as though she wanted to put her hands over her face again.

  Justus stood and began walking away to give her time to recover. “It has been a rather eventful day,” he said. “I’ll fix up a bed for you in the wagon.”

  She sat by the fire while he began to get the cover on the wagon. Then he moved a few things around and climbed inside to arrange some blankets. It was his wedding night but he had decided not to treat it as such. After all the diving, it hardly felt like the same day anyway and he wanted Lucy to feel like his wife before he truly made her his wife. He was going to try to court her a bit first even though that was doing things out of order and even though he had no idea how to do that. He tossed some blankets out the back for his bed.

  The air was colder now that the sun had dipped below the horizon. That might have been why Lucy had her arms hugged tightly around her knees when he returned to her side. To Justus though, she looked terrified. He hated to think he might be the cause. He should have explained his intentions better.

  ~~ ~~

  One moment Lucy saw Justus as the dashing hero and the next she’d expect him to shout at her. The conflicting emotions made the day exhausting. And now he was making up a bed. And she wasn’t thinking of sleep. She hugged her knees more securely to her chest.

  Caroline had made her afraid. Her sister had married the first man to pay her any attention and Caroline’s husband turned out to be merely a different sort of burden than their father. She complained of his smell and his ignorance and that there was nothing she could do to make him stop visiting the saloon. For a while, Caroline insisted that this would all be tolerable as soon as she had children. Their ma had seemed reasonably content with a miserable man as long as she had her children to care for.

  But Caroline had now been married six years and both of her babies had died before they were born. She had stopped talking about herself and the sisters spent most of their visits imagining escape for Lucy. Sometimes Caroline would describe a young man in town and how they might persuade him to call in secret. More often their plan was total fantasy, the dashing stranger who fell in love with Lucy on sight or the charming stranger who arrived ill on the doorstep and carried Lucy away in the night as soon as she had nursed him back to health.

  Caroline had also filled her sister’s ears with details about how horrible it was to share a bed with a husband. She said to think about something else and Lucy’s brain was not cooperating. She found herself wondering what it might be like to have Justus put his arms around her. Maybe it was because he didn’t seem to be anything like Caroline’s husband. Caroline thought she liked the man she married at first though, too, but said he changed immediately after the wedding. Yet Caroline had still prodded Lucy with all those dreams of running away with a man right alongside her horror stories. Hope and terror never belonged together and Lucy didn’t know what to expect or how to sort out her feelings. She had alternating impulses to cling to Justus and to shrink from him.

  He returned from the wagon and dropped a roll of blankets on the ground. He held out a hand to help her up. Lucy took it and found that she was trembling from head to toe by the time she was standing next to her husband.

  “Step closer to the fire for a minute,” he said.

  She obliged quickly, wanting him to think she was shaking because of the cold.

  “It’s real cozy with the cover up. You’ll be warm enough and I’ll be out here keeping watch if you need something.”

  Lucy pictured herself nodding but couldn’t quite make it happen.

  “Lucy, I…” Justus took off his hat and examined it for a moment before he carelessly tossed it on top of the blankets. “We gave the preacher a bit of a thrill this morning, didn’t we?”

  “He did seem excited,” Lucy said, remembering that he hadn’t been the only one. She was still happy she hadn’t fainted.

  Justus grinned. “I hope I sounded a touch more charming when he repeated the story to Mrs. John.”

  The only part that mattered to Lucy was that he’d asked her to be his wife. She didn’t care how he said it. She was still too nervous to return the smile but his calm manner eased her trembling.

  “Lucy, this marriage was… sudden. That’s why I think it’s right for you to have your own room for a while until… until we get used to each other.” He ran his hands through his hair and looked as though he was making a decision in his head before he added, “I think we’re gonna suit just fine though.” He put one arm around her waist and bent his head to kiss her before she knew what was happening. Something warm and unfamiliar mixed with the pleasure when his mouth met hers. If she had known this was what she was picturing at her wedding, she might not have stayed conscious.

  When Lucy woke up Sunday morning, it took her a moment to remember where she was. It took much longer to convince herself the previous day had not been a dream. She lay on her back and watched the canvas above her lighten as the sun rose.

  Thoughts of her pa came to mind. Despite her desire to leave his house, she felt some sadness at the idea that she might never see him again. He would lose the farm to Mr. Thale now and she didn’t know where he would go. Lucy would have felt more guilt if she didn’t believe a marriage would have only delayed the loss. The man was too fond of cards. The sadness she felt was also eased by thoughts of the temper her pa would have lashed out when he discovered her flight. He didn’t strike her often – harsh words and bellowing were typically enough – but running out on his bargain would surely have been an occasion for bruises.

  Noises nearby said that Justus was out of bed. Had he been up long? Was he upset about waiting on her?

  Lucy quickly pulled a brush from the small bag that contained everything she owned. The bun her pa had insisted on for a wedding had made her neck sore. She left her hair in a braid down her back as she was accustomed and folded all the blankets before she opened the back of the cover.

  Justus was leading the horses back to the wagon and had already rolled up his bed and put out the fire. She should not have lingered so long in bed or bothered with tying a ribbon to her hair.

  “There’s another creek just a ways ahead,” Justus said. “I figure we’ll stop there for breakfast and church.” He smiled as though he was glad to see her.

  She felt lazy even if he didn’t call her that and she tried to lift the crate at the back of the wagon. Justus had removed it to give her more room. He had done so easily and she couldn’t even get it off the ground.

  “Leave that,” he called from where he was hitching Molly. “There are lighter things you can pack.”

  Lucy scurried to pick up the bedroll and some bags. She marveled at his soft instructions, at the way he seemed to be telling her how to help because he knew she wanted to help and not because he was demanding it.

  They had everything back in the wagon and were on their way in next to no time. The seat appeared to have shrunk overnight though. Every tiny bump knocked her against Justus or him against her. Every time her shoulder touched his arm she thought about how he had kissed her and wondered if he might do it again. She knew now what she had felt the first time. It was trust.

  They arrived along a creek within an hour. Justus brought the horses to the water where they could drink their fill. He asked Lucy to read the next chapters of Matthew while he set up a
fire.

  Lucy usually read quietly and she stumbled trying to pronounce some of the words. Justus helped her without laughing or criticizing. He wanted to discuss what she had read while she prepared some cornmeal mush for breakfast. She felt overwhelmed by the questions and trying to cook something – even something simple – for her husband for the first time. Justus didn’t force opinions. He shared a few thoughts and let them each reflect silently for the most part. And he thanked her for the breakfast.

  Lucy went to the creek to wash her hands and face before they reloaded. The water was icy cold and she was afraid the shock of it would wake her up and a kind and handsome man would no longer be by her side. Justus did not disappear. And when he helped her into the wagon, he did not immediately let go of her hand. His fingers slipped over her palm and his thumb rubbed the back of her hand. A delightful panic passed through her at how strongly she welcomed the touch.

  A little bit of that panic stayed and fluttered around her when he circled to the other side and grabbed the reins with one hand and put his other arm around her back.

  ~~ ~~

  The sky was a brilliant blue with wisps of pure white clouds and the grass of the prairie seemed to reach out to it in the distance. The afternoon had warmed more than the previous day by the time Justus stopped the horses for a midday meal. Lucy had been calmer the second day of driving. She was mostly quiet and still a little timid around him but there hadn’t been any signs of outright fear. Justus had lost himself in the rhythm of the hoof beats for a lot of the drive and thought he should try to talk to his wife while they ate so she wouldn’t be completely bored of him.

  “There’s plenty of game,” he said. “I could get a rabbit for tonight if you prefer that to fish.”

  “Fish is fine.”

  “I’ll catch it and you cook it,” he said with a nod.

  Lucy hesitated for a moment and bit her lip as she said, “I’ll try not to burn it.”

  Justus thought she was trying to make light of his eating his pa’s charred dinners, but she might have been sincerely concerned. “When it comes right down to it,” he said, “I’d rather eat burnt fish than fish I had to fix for myself.”

  “Is that…” Lucy looked at the apple she was eating and tried to pretend she hadn’t almost asked a question.

  “Is that what?” Justus prompted.

  A rosy tint came over Lucy’s cheeks but she looked right at him anyway. “Is that why you came to town in search of a wife? For a cook?”

  He nodded. “Partly. Also, I promised Ma. I was twelve when she died. A horse kicked her in the chest. She knew she wasn’t going to make it. Talked to each of us in turn and made me give three promises. The first was that I’d read the bible every day. The second was that I would someday try to give her grandchildren to watch from heaven. I need a wife for that.”

  He stopped and looked at Lucy, waiting to see if she’d ask about the third promise.

  She stared back, apparently waiting to see if he wanted to share.

  “Matthias didn’t like carrots,” he said. “Some three or four years earlier, he had teased me about eating horse food and I wouldn’t touch them. Ma made me promise that I would eat carrots again. I ran to fetch one and ate it in front of her. I think she did it on purpose.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t think she cared about me eating carrots. She only wanted to give me something to remember her. I can’t even look at a carrot without seeing her face.”

  “Lots of things make me think of my ma,” Lucy said. “Buttons do. I remember her teaching me whenever I sew on a button.”

  “This one’s getting loose.” Justus opened his coat and pointed to the middle of his shirt. “You may be thinking of her soon.”

  Lucy smiled shyly. She stood to begin cleaning up to pack their supplies. She put everything back into the wagon while he informed Molly and May that their break was over. The mares seemed eager to get back to work.

  The sun had burned most of the chill from the afternoon and made extra layers unnecessary. Justus planned to toss his coat behind the wagon seat. He stopped as he noticed that Lucy must have had a similar thought. She had removed her cloak. The shapeless garment had been covering the top half of her dress since he met her. Without the cloak, his wife was decidedly not shapeless. It was a blue dress with tiny white flowers and a touch of lace around the collar. It fit her snuggly around the waist and around points north of her waist. North of that, she wore a curious expression. It was as though she had no idea why a man might be looking at her the way he was looking at her.

  Justus cleared his throat and said, “That’s a real pretty dress.”

  She looked down at it. And then she screamed.

  He took a careful step closer, thinking perhaps she was looking past the dress to a snake or other threat.

  Lucy put her hands together and began to twist them while she moaned, “Oh, no. Oh, no.”

  There didn’t seem to be anything else that could have upset her.

  She picked her head up and her eyes filled with tears. “I stole it,” she gasped.

  “You stole the dress?”

  “I did. This one and another in my bag. They’re the only dresses I brought but… they were supposed to be a wedding gift from Mr. Thale. I didn’t marry him and that means… that means I stole the dresses. I didn’t think of it. When we left, I didn’t…” She shook her head wretchedly and her mouth moved but no more words came out.

  Justus took both of her hands in his. “We’ll make it right,” he said. “Rev. John will visit late in the summer. I’ll give him some money to repay Mr. Thale.”

  Lucy appeared no less distressed.

  He traced a finger along the side of her face. “I suspect Mr. Thale is more concerned with the theft of his bride. Do you have any remorse for your part in that?”

  Her lips pressed together, probably hiding a guilty smile. She cast her eyes downward and made an effort to calm herself. “I guess paying him for the dresses is the best we can do.”

  “Good,” Justus said. “Then you don’t need to think on Mr. Thale anymore. You wouldn’t want me to get jealous, would you?”

  Lucy’s head jerked up and her eyes widened at the teasing. Justus tried not to laugh as he helped her onto the wagon seat. He kept both hands on the reins as they started. It would be best if he focused on the journey and didn’t let himself get used to Lucy too far ahead of her getting used to him.

  ~~ ~~

  The lake was calm but tiny ripples hinted at the life beneath its surface. A frog broke that glassy surface with a plop as Justus arrived to catch some dinner. Lucy had talked about herself some in the afternoon, about how she wondered what happened to her brother and about a time her ma had surprised her children with a picnic when Lucy had forgotten to bring the lunch pail to school. He turned over those stories and thoughts in his head while he waited for the fish to bite.

  A nice cooking fire was ready when Justus returned to the camp. Lucy’s face showed surprise when he handed over the fish for cleaning. “That was fast,” she said.

  He didn’t have a lot of control over how quickly the fish took the bait, but Justus felt a swell of pride at providing for her.

  “Do you know who lives there?” Lucy tipped her head towards a house in the distance.

  “A family named Grigg. I’d suggest a visit but the house is nearly four miles from here, which is eight miles out of our way and I’m itching to get home.”

  Lucy nodded. “I hope I don’t sound unsociable by saying I’m glad not to visit. I’m nervous enough about meeting your family.”

  “We’ll have less driving tomorrow,” Justus said. “The horses could even make it to the farm tonight if there was an emergency. We don’t need to push them.”

  Lucy looked up from the fish. “Can we see your farm from here, too?”

  “We’ll go around the lake and if you look across it that way,” Justus said as he pointed, “you can make out the buildin
gs, better when it’s lighter.”

  Lucy squinted in the direction he’d indicated and then went back to work. A meal was soon sizzling enticingly.

  “You don’t have to call it my farm, you know.”

  “What?” Lucy asked, looking distracted.

  “It’s ours now.”

  She gave only a faint smile. “That’ll take some getting used to.”

  “Don’t take too long.”

  “Too long?” Lucy only mumbled the question. She was bent over the fire, turning the fish. Her dark hair was highlighted by the sunset behind her and Justus thanked God that he hadn’t ended up making the journey alone.

  He stepped closer so that he was standing next to her as she straightened. “Don’t take too long getting used to me.” He moved in for a kiss, a deeper kiss. Even though she leaned into him a little and he kept kissing her for a full minute, she still looked completely startled when he lifted his head.

  Justus took a seat on the other side of the fire and tried to behave himself for the rest of the evening. While she focused on serving a meal, he focused on making a list of all the times in his life he’d been forced to be patient.

  ~~ ~~

  Lucy’s eyes flew open in darkness and she rolled into something hard. She was sure it was a gunshot that had woken her but she couldn’t tell from which direction or from how far away. The wagon suddenly seemed huge as she tried to crawl to the back of it. Her fingers fumbled over the flap until she stuck her head out, not thinking that perhaps she should stay hidden until she knew what had happened.

  Justus was standing nearby with his rifle pointed into the air. He was looking at her with an apologetic expression. “Just some wolves prowling,” he said, “but the horses were getting jumpy so I thought it best to scare ‘em off. You go on back to sleep.”