A Quiet Life Read online

  She wasn’t normally so prone to weepiness. Somehow it was more difficult to control under the horrified looks of Mr. Baker and his brother. Both men wore expressions that said perhaps they had never seen a person cry before. “I apologize for my lack of composure,” she said.

  “If you’re not going to eat any more,” Mr. Baker said, “perhaps you’d like to go and rest. We might be able to figure things out a bit more over dinner.”

  “Would you mind if I cooked for you later? I’d like to offer some small bit of help in exchange for the shelter you’re providing.”

  “Mind?” Justus said. “Miss, if you can cook, you can stay as long as you like.”

  She felt a small smile on her face. The touch of appreciation gave her hope for a lingering welcome.

  ~~ ~~

  Matthias had to restrain the impulse to shove his brother right off his chair for teasing their guest when she was so obviously distraught. And joking about her staying was inappropriate. The woman obviously couldn’t stay unless she married one of them and that was no laughing matter.

  He was also plagued with guilt. He’d been thinking about himself and Justus, thinking about how strange it would feel to have another person – a female person – in their house. He hadn’t left enough time to consider Miss Lawley’s feelings. And as unhappy as she was, he still felt himself wishing she could stay.

  He spent the afternoon in the fields with only these distressing thoughts for company. When he came into the house, Miss Lawley was at the stove. She looked very natural in their kitchen and Justus was at the table, smiling at her as though they’d just shared a joke. Something that felt like jealousy flared for a moment before a wonderful aroma hit his nose and drove away the unpleasant twinge.

  “She’s making fried chicken,” Justus said. “Doesn’t it smell better’n mine?”

  Matthias hung up his hat and came closer to the table. Plates were already laid out and a bowl of potatoes sat in the middle with butter melting over the tops. Miss Lawley turned around with a hot pan wrapped in a towel. “You’re just in time,” she said. Her cheeks were rosy from the heat of the stove and she appeared happier than she had been at midday.

  “It smells delicious,” Matthias said as he took a seat. He offered a faster blessing than usual in his eagerness to taste something.

  There was no conversation from the men as they filled their mouths with chicken and potatoes.

  “I hope it’s enough,” Miss Lawley said. “I didn’t know how hungry you’d be.”

  Matthias nodded and sensed his brother do the same. He glanced up at Miss Lawley and she appeared thoroughly content to watch them eat up her food. It was similar to the expression his ma used to wear at mealtime. If enjoying good food was all it took to keep a woman happy, he might be able to convince their guest to become a resident. He suspected it would be much more complicated than that.

  As he began to feel sated, he knew it was time to ask some difficult questions. “Miss Lawley, if your sister is expecting you in Wyoming, we should probably talk about that.”

  Her face seemed to falter a bit before she nodded. Was it his imagination or was she not looking forward to reaching her destination?

  “I don’t like to pry but it… it’s unusual for a young woman to be traveling with a cattle drive. Perhaps you could start by telling us how you came to be with the Mitchells.”

  Miss Lawley nodded politely. “Mrs. Mitchell has a family connection with a friend of my mama’s. She and her husband agreed to let me come on the drive as a favor to her. You know the Mitchells are unpleasant though. I confess some relief to being out of their company.”

  “And you were going to your sister? Perhaps if we could get word to her, she could arrange your travel the rest of the way.”

  “I…” Miss Lawley looked uncertain for a moment. “I don’t know.”

  “You fear she doesn’t have the means?”

  Her jaw set as though she had just made up her mind about something. “My papa was widowed before he married my mama. This sister is from his first marriage. She and I never… We don’t… She agreed to take me in out of duty only until I could find another situation. I’m not sure how far her sense of duty will stretch given my new circumstances.”

  Matthias was rather shocked to hear this woman might not be able to count on her family. He didn’t immediately know which way to direct the conversation. But it appeared to be over anyway.

  Grace Lawley stood abruptly and began to clear the table. She scrubbed the dishes without a word. Justus moved to the rocking chair and picked up his knife to begin whittling. Matthias stayed at the table, watching her back as she worked and wishing he knew what to do with himself. He couldn’t remember ever feeling less sure of what was right. His mind was reeling with a desire to stand up behind this woman and put his arms around her. That was the only thing he knew was not right.

  When the kitchen was tidy, Miss Lawley came back to the table and sat across from Matthias. “I’m going to ask what I have no right to ask,” she said.

  Justus looked up to give her his attention though he could hear perfectly well. Matthias waited patiently.

  Miss Lawley took a huge gulp of air. “I’d like to stay here. I can be useful to you. You could use a woman to take care of the house. I can cook and sew and… I wouldn’t expect you to give up the house. There are three bedrooms and no one around to protect my reputation from. Please… please think on it.” She gave a plaintive look to each man in turn and swept herself from the room. Her bedroom door closed softly.

  Matthias smiled to himself as he realized that he’d thought of the room as “her bedroom” though she’d spent only one night there. He listened quietly to the sound of Justus’ knife scraping the wood. It was a familiar sound, calm and rhythmic. They could both get a lot of thinking done with that sound in the background. Then Justus said, “Why do you suppose she’d be willing to stick around a couple of farmers in the middle of nowhere?”

  Matthias sighed as he shook his head.

  “She’s staying though, isn’t she?”

  Matthias met his brother’s eyes, trying to read any disapproval with the statement. He saw none.

  Justus said, “And we’re staying in the barn?”

  “Of course.”

  Justus laid his tools next to his chair as he stood. “I suppose I best get Belle milked so’s she can tuck us in later.”

  A new calm came over Matthias as he watched his brother leave and then turned to the closed door of Miss Lawley’s room. He was tempted to knock so he could tell her right away that she could stay. He was nervous about disturbing her though and there were chores to be done anyway. She might feel better if she believed they’d slept on the topic. He hurried after his brother so quickly one might think he feared she’d come out and be alone with him.

  ~~ ~~

  There was even less light in the barn than there would have been in the house. Matthias was accustomed to rising early though. He did so even in the near darkness. He lit a lantern and took out a small shaving mirror and a razor. His whiskers were generally shaved only when they caused him itching. He’d been feeling itchy since their guest woke from her illness. A pretty face in a mess of blankets and hair had caught his attention. That same face atop a womanly shape in a pretty dress held his attention in a way he hadn’t expected. It was more than compassion that wanted her to be part of their household. He’d known that right away. Now that she was staying, he could admit it to himself.

  He fed the pigs before he saddled Goliath. The horse needed to stretch his legs and Matthias was happy to oblige. He dug his heels in almost as soon as they cleared the barn. The warm morning felt cooler as it breezed past at a gallop. A lake with a glasslike surface appeared on the horizon. It was a mile or so from the house.

  Matthias stopped the horse at the water’s edge. White and purple wildflowers dotted the tall grass and he had a notion to pick a handful of them. The idea was ridiculous though. Miss Lawley would th
ink he was trying to court her if he brought flowers and she surely wouldn’t have any interest in that. She only wanted a place to stay.

  He dipped his hands into the lake instead and sipped the cool water. Goliath got a long drink before they began to head back at a slower pace. He served breakfast to all the horses before he went inside to see about his own.

  “Good morning,” Miss Lawley said. She was assembling a stack of pancakes cooked to perfection. Maple syrup dripped down the sides as she placed it on the table next to a second stack. That’s when he noticed that Justus was not in the room. It seemed to shrink as the petite Miss Lawley filled more and more of it by simply standing there watching him do nothing. He fiddled with his hat and nearly dropped it as he tried to hang it.

  Justus exited his old bedroom, cleanly shaven. He took his seat at the table and stared wide-eyed at the stack in front of him.

  “Are you not hungry, Mr. Baker?”

  “I could eat twice… Oh, you mean the other Mr. Baker.” Justus grinned at Miss Lawley. It was plain he knew which brother she’d meant.

  Matthias joined them at the table and bowed his head with a quick glance at Justus.

  The younger brother took his cue to bless the food. “Dear Lord, thank you for the pancakes that look and smell so much better than the ones Matthias serves burnt. And thank you for allowing Miss Lawley to recover enough to make them. Bless the food and those of us who can’t wait to eat it. Amen.”

  Matthias picked up his fork and the first mouthful seemed to melt against his tongue. The pleasure must have been evident on his face because Miss Lawley was smiling at him. If she didn’t stop offering those smiles, he’d have no choice but to fetch her some of those pretty flowers by the lake. He tried to keep his focus on the pancakes.

  “You haven’t told her what we decided yet, have you?” Justus asked.

  “Haven’t had a chance.”

  “You gonna tell her now?”

  Matthias looked at the young woman at the table. Her blue eyes where alight with hope. He thought he might give her anything she asked rather than risk dampening that light. “Miss Lawley,” he said, “you are welcome in our home. If you wish to stay, we’ll stop trying to think of how to send you on your way.”

  “Thank you.” She turned to Justus and thanked him as well.

  “Justus and I will remain in the barn though. For the time being.”

  “Oh… I don’t want to put you out of your own house. There’s no call for that when I have a room of my own.”

  “There is,” Matthias said. “You’re right that we don’t have much in the way of neighbors. That means whatever visitors we get come with no warning. There’d be no time to make a show of us sleeping in the barn and we’d hate to embarrass you like that. Besides, Ma always said what you do away from prying eyes is the most important.”

  “The hay loft is right cozy, Miss Lawley,” Justus added.

  She nodded. “If you insist, I won’t press. But I’d like to add a condition of my own.”

  It was a good thing she was going to drop it. Matthias thought that if she knew the thoughts the subject put into his head, she’d want him in the barn right then. “What is your condition?” he asked.

  She smiled somewhat shyly, perhaps thinking condition was too strong a word. “I’d like you both to call me Grace.”

  “Fair enough,” he said. “If you call us both Mr. Baker, that’ll get confusing anyway. I believe given names will work all around.”

  “Good. Would you like some more pancakes, Justus?”

  “Please.” He pushed his plate forward and she took it to the stove to refill.

  Matthias pushed his empty plate forward as she returned to the table.

  “I have more,” she said as she took his plate with another smile.

  The next hour or so passed rather businesslike as they showed Grace where they kept everything she’d need to take over the housework and she asked questions about how they liked things done. She promised something special for dinner to celebrate their new arrangement.

  Matthias went to work picking and storing some beans while he wondered what that dinner might be. Grace came outside soon after and she was carrying fishing supplies. He kind of thought that answered his question. Her red checked bonnet framed her face as she approached him. “Justus said there’s plenty of fish in the lake and I aim to catch as many as you can eat,” she told him.

  “Sounds wonderful.”

  She gnawed uncertainly on her bottom lip. She clearly had a reason other than fish for stopping to talk to him. “The room I’m in now,” she started, “that, uh… that was your parents’ bedroom before, right?”

  He answered the question with a nod.

  “Well, I… I noticed a hairbrush in the drawer of the dressing table. I was just looking for anything I should move out of the room in case you were looking for it and… would you mind if…”

  “That Mitchell varmint took your brush, too, didn’t he?”

  Grace nodded meekly.

  “You should have let me go after him.”

  “A few belongings weren’t worth the risk. What if they mistook you for a cattle thief? You already have sewing supplies for me to use and… the brush is the only thing I’m really missing at the moment.”

  “I don’t reckon I have much use for a brush,” he said, feeling a rather foolish grin stretch across his face. “You’re welcome to call Ma’s old brush yours from now on.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Baker. I didn’t think you’d mind, but it didn’t feel right to use something of your mama’s without asking.”

  “I thought you were gonna call me Matthias.”

  She blushed a beautiful pink. “Thank you… Matthias. I best see if the fish are biting,” she said as she began to walk away from him.

  His name sounded much nicer on her lips than from Justus. Grace felt bad about him and Justus sleeping in the barn. She had to have considered the obvious solution. She had to know when she asked to stay that a marriage was the only proper course. Did that mean she’d be willing? Trouble was, Rev. John was past due for a visit already. Would Matthias have time to convince her that it was more than common sense that prompted him to propose? And how would she react to that?

  ~~ ~~

  Grace was amazed at how quickly the two men welcomed her as part of their household. It felt almost as though they’d been waiting for her. She saw the beauty of the summer prairie stretched out before her on her way to the lake and knew that she could be happy in this home. She could only have ended up here with God’s help. It had been a long and unpredictable road.

  She hardly remembered her father. Grace had been happy with just her mama for many years. But she died just after Grace turned seventeen. First she was taken in by the family of her friend Elizabeth. Elizabeth got married barely a year later, at which point her parents insisted Grace needed to choose a suitor as well. The only man who sparked her interest had been too timid to call on her though.

  Rather than feel like a burden to Elizabeth’s family, Grace moved in with the family of another friend. They still had young children and could use the extra hands around the house. The situation was uncomfortable from the first day. She didn’t know that friend’s father had a wandering eye until it began to rest on Grace.

  She gladly accepted an invitation from one of her mama’s old friends to live with her. It became clear right away that the older woman had taken her in only to put her in the company of her nephew. The man was a widower twice Grace’s age who had six young children. She might still have considered marrying him if he’d shown interest in something other than her cooking skills.

  Perhaps if he’d looked at her something like Matthias Baker looked at her. She whispered the name to herself as the white of sun bouncing off the water began to make her squint. The man was handsome even with half his face covered in hair. Now that he’d cleaned up, he looked much younger and his quiet attention made her heart thump in her chest. She was sure she only im
agined the admiration in his eyes but she liked to see it anyway. He was so serious and thoughtful. The rare smile felt like he was showing her something intimate.

  Grace pushed aside her daydreams as she arrived at the lake. First she must continue to prove herself a valuable member of the household before she could entertain hopes of being invited to join the family. And she tried to remind herself that such an invitation might come only as a means to avoid sleeping in the barn.

  The lake was so thoroughly obliging that Grace had a nice pail of fish in less time than she expected. She couldn’t resist picking a handful of wildflowers before heading back to the house. She especially liked the purple ones.

  She put the fish aside as she returned to the house to work on something else she hoped would please the men – an apple pie. Once it was in the oven, she went to work on something that would please herself – her hair. She unpinned it and looked at the tangled mess reflected in the glass. The drawer in the dressing table slid out smoothly. The brush was prettier than her old one and it felt like a small luxury as she worked it through the ends of her hair. Gradually she moved it up the length of the long strands. They fell just past her waist when left down. Removing the knots was like brushing away the last traces of her illness, the last traces of looking for a place for herself.

  She braided the smoothed hair and twisted it into a fancier knot than usual right at the nape of her neck. A few of the purple flowers she tucked into the side of the coil. As she did so, she imagined she could see Matthias standing behind her in the mirror. He was pulling the flowers out again as though helping her get ready for bed.

  Grace put her hands over her flushed face. It wasn’t right to picture a man being in her bedroom. She stood and focused on being useful. She could repair the frayed hem on those trousers before the pie came out of the oven and see to a bit of washing before starting on the fish.